Looking Ahead as This Sun-Drenched Season Slips Away: September Gratitude List

I’ve come to realize that these gratitude posts are kind of boring for everyone who isn’t me, so to keep things interesting I sometimes like to throw in pictures like these—ones that make you think I’m some sort of niche elder-millennial print model. Maybe it’s just because I have killer bone structure and the innate gift of being able to smize into a camera like I’ve got a bazillion secrets. And maybe I do. I’ll never tell.

In any case—what a summer! I’m decidedly ready for the next chapter, though. Here’s what I’m grateful for as I put this sun-soaked season to rest:

1. Opportunities to connect and reflect during our annual trip to the family cabin I’ve been going to all my life. We hung out, ate an absurd amount of delicious home-cooked food, and went fishing, boating, and paddle boarding on the lake. I even set some boundaries and carved out time for reading alone. On the way up, my kids saw their first moose, a black bear, and no fewer than five deer. Since I grew up at the lake (my grandparents owned a house and so did we) it's full of nostalgia for me, and it was especially poignant to experience it with my baby daughter for the first time. Have you ever gone somewhere and felt connected to the land in a way that’s almost overwhelming? That’s what it’s like for me. I feel that place in my bones.

2. The fact that some threads, though worn thin, never fully break—even when I thought for sure they had, and accepted that. I’m grateful when they’re carefully resewn, held safely in the weave, and reshaped into something new that feels safe to hold. Cryptic AF, I know.

3. The kids returning to school and activities, bringing back some semblance of structure. It means I don’t have to feel guilty about not entertaining them every second of the day. Sure, it’s great that they still want to be around me (just trust that I’m really fucking cool, okay?), but I love seeing them develop a sense of purpose outside of me—and not just do things to please me, or to annoy me. It’s good for them to figure out who they are in the middle of all the mess that is the public school system. And if they ever forget, enter a tough ass mama to remind them.

4. Finally seeing a surgeon next week to make a game plan for my hernia repair. At some point I’ll also need to address the abdominal separation. I’m technically not supposed to lift more than 10 lbs—ASK ME HOW THAT’S GOING WITH A 21-lb baby who insists on being held by her mother? Snatched stomach for 2026 here I come.

5. Seeing Neil Young in concert with my mama next week!

6. The ease I feel expressing my values to others, especially in writing. I guess I’ve taken it for granted, growing up with a lot of privilege and being cast as the “Lisa Simpson” of the family. But I’m realizing that being so blunt about my beliefs doesn’t always land well in every crowd. The thing is—I rarely give it a second thought, because I don't care who I impress or don't. I simply need to be authentic and raise my kids in a way that helps me sleep at night. I’m grateful to have so many people in my life who are similarly aligned, especially the ones I’m raising my children alongside.

7. My new site / passion project, The Tender Rebellion... coming soon!! Domain name bought, baby. Nothing's there yet, but it'll be less confessional than this, and hopefully more focused/activist angled, not just my whiny ass rants. You're welcome, world.

8. The imaginative play and unencumbered joy and the give no fucks about social conventions that exists in early childhood. I guess it should make me mad or maybe I should take it personally somehow, seeing as how it means my kids don’t always do what you want as they exercise their individual agency, but most of the time I find it amusing and tender and invigorating to watch this path to personhood unfold in all its wildness. I'd bottle it if I could.

   
   
   
   

Lessons We Learned From The Sea: Bedtime Adventures with Hemingway & an Ocean-Loving Seven-Year-Old

Listen, I know you’re probably questioning my judgment: reading The Old Man and the Sea to a seven-year-old? There’s a giant marlin, relentless sharks, and a tired old man who hasn’t caught a fish in 84 days. A bleak picture indeed. Unlike most children's books, there are no colourful graphics, no lovable anthropomorphic characters, and certainly no warm, fluffy ending. Yet there’s something quietly profound here, and I hoped my son—currently in his ocean-loving, fish-obsessed phase—might benefit from the lessons hidden in its pages.

At this stage, any task demanding more than a few sacred minutes of mental or physical effort feels, to him, like pure suffering. He's been working since he was a toddler, so it's easy to forget he's still just a little kid. But like most young whippersnappers today, his frustration tolerance is relatively low. He wants things to be easy, and when they aren't, he quits. Instant gratification rules the day. But when I attempt to momsplain anything about grit, perseverance, pride, humility, and the nobility of struggle, it's invariably met with an eyeroll—and some sarcastic quip like, "What is this, a therapy session?"—thanks to the snark he inherited from yours truly.

I'm blunt with my kids, which can be useful, but I'm learning that sometimes you need to take the side door. Maybe that's the way to plant seeds deep in his inner world. He’s cerebral, bound to the outdoors, and drawn to epic tales. I want him to recognize that nature is a force to be reckoned with, that life moves in cycles, and that even when things don’t work out, the struggle itself is worthwhile. I want him to see that human connection—empathy, kindness, shared effort—is as important as any victory at sea. Sometimes we have to customize our approach to the individual child. I'm all for unorthodox parenting, and I think that's what really helps kids thrive.

We haven't quite finished the story yet, but so far, he's hooked. I think he's starting to grapple with many of the themes as experienced through Santiago's struggle. Life, and our survival of it, is about adventure—about actually having the courage to try, no matter the outcome. There's a quiet triumph in putting your efforts towards something, even when staying on the sidelines would be easier. Turns out, I could use that reminder myself right about now, too.

So while a feel good, kid-friendly read isn't off the table in this house, sometimes life calls for stories that are a bit more complex. Time to REALLY learn about human suffering, kid. Hey, anything beats reading another Ninjago book, if you ask me.

Lonely Hunters & Tender Heresies: Whispers from My Inner Life

In another life, I live in a sleepy Southern Gothic town—no racists, no debutantes, just heat, quiet, and the scent of old wood and summer rain. I own a little coffee shop that doubles as a bookstore, converted from an old Baptist church tucked behind a leaning fence and a row of wild hydrangeas. The cemetery sits just off in the distance. On breaks, I trace my fingers over the worn epitaphs of crumbling headstones, if only to ward off a sense of inner decay. I sing to the babies and leave flowers for the mothers, even though I know they have long since been swallowed by the earth.

My café is alive. It buzzes and hums like a beehive split open by the sun—voices, laughter, and footsteps melding into an aureate tide. Most days, locals drift in bronzed and barefoot, smelling of tobacco and river water, thumbing through Faulkner or Plath while sipping something dark and sweet. Subversive paintings adorn the walls alongside ’60s protest posters and dark folk concert bills. I hire troubled teens and drifters—mostly foster youth and PTSD-burdened war veterans—for fair wages. I believe everyone deserves second chances. Everything here is pulled from the land itself: sun-bruised peaches, pecans cracked by calloused hands, and honey scavenged from hives nestled in fence-posts behind the shop.

Every morning, I serve eggs, bacon, and hash to the Romeos (Retired Old Men Eating Out), flirting and teasing as I keep their black coffees filled, the conversation always turning provocative. The grill sizzles and purrs while "Kaw-Liga" hums from the record-player, and I gently disturb their hard-earned nostalgia when I tell them I’m not sure there ever truly were any good ol’ days. Behind a false-toothed grin, one of them often pauses mid-sentence—his slow-onset dementia granting him a fleeting, fragile moment of grace—to tell me I remind him of the moody, wild-hearted girl from his youth who somehow slipped away. I see him tracing the memory of her lips curling mid-conversation, desperately trying to hold it before it disappears into the ether, and for a brief, aching moment, I wish I could actually be her, if only to soothe that unspoken longing.

Unsurprisingly, copies of The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter are always in demand. But I slip in revolutionary texts where I can. Kropotkin’s The Conquest of Bread, de Beauvoir’s The Second Sex, Marx and Engels’ The Communist Manifesto, and Foucault’s Discipline and Punish are nestled between Baldwin and Morrison, waiting for curious hands to discover them.

The floorboards murmur old secrets and tender heresies—something about the curse of dogma and the lie of prayers. Light gleams through the tall, warped-paned windows like molten honey across the spines of books. In the evenings, the locals fill the pews for coffee and conversation, while poets, folk singers, and local activists take the pulpit. We snap our fingers, clap our hands, raise our fists, laugh, and cry. Informal town 'meetings' brimming with soul and warm drink. My heart fills when I watch the lonely widows and widowers pair off and go home with one another, alchemizing their quiet grief into tentative, trembling companionship.

I live in a haunted Victorian at the edge of town, with a wrap-around porch where I like to write and paint. It's my sanctuary. Here, I am calm, and the spirits always welcome me. My anger doesn't live out loud; it only spills onto the page and canvas. Wisteria climbs the porch, overgrown and feral in all its purple glory. For whatever reason, I don't try to tame it; it feels wrong somehow. Behind the house, a private lake waits, glassy and still. Some days I go fishing for my supper; other days, I sunbathe in the nude on the dock, eating cherries from the trees until my mouth is red and vicious.

At night, I keep my blinds open, casually inviting the neighbours to glimpse my naked body, not for shock, but for the pleasure of being seen, offering up skin like a sacrament. On warm nights, I sip caramel-flavoured whiskey by the lake and watch the moon reach across the water like a luminous silver hand. Most of the time, I go to bed alone. I have never found anyone who could hold all of me. When the rain comes, I sit fireside and bury myself in historic love letters unearthed from a dusty basement chest—each one trembling with the restraint and ache of impossible love—and I drink and weep, remembering how that same disenfranchised longing etched itself into my bones so many years ago. On certain nights, when the wind rattles the house beyond my comfort, I let the men in, their wants draped around me like silk hung on the line. When morning comes, I let them go. No sins to repent, no choices to burden myself with. I have already committed to mine.

I understand my need for aloneness. They do too. And nobody tries to alter it.

Not even the ghosts that live alongside me.