Modern mommy problem #1: getting my baby to take a bottle so I can catch a show at an old Vancouver porn theatre in one month’s time

Hello homies. Relax. Emphasis on ‘old’. A former porn theatre. It’s now a music venue and nightclub and I think it’s been thoroughly sanitized and cleansed of its past transgressions (the same can’t be said for me, but I digress). I’ll bring my black light just in case. To be fair, it can’t be much worse than some of the establishments I spent time in throughout my twenties. Have you seen the girls washroom in a bar before? The toilets look like the site of an old west town massacre—shit and blood everywhere.

The venue in question is The Fox Cabaret, and it’s been out of the sticky hands club for well over a decade, but I still think the history is wonderfully gross. It’s got character, which, call me odd, is an integral part of the experience for me. Anyway, my friend and I have tickets to see indie singer-songwriter Christian Lee Hutson play a set there on February 18th, so I have to successfully manage to convince my exclusively breastfed baby to take a bottle before then. She’s not even three months old yet, but she’s a boob girl through and through, and she isn’t feeling the artificial nip.

I actually really love breastfeeding and I did it for 2.5 years with my son. But one of my goals for this third and final round of motherhood is to include myself in it, to not abandon my own needs, wants and interests. After having my boy in 2018, I only attended one concert in a four year period. I barely went out for the evening without him. Granted, COVID hit and shut the world down, but I also centred so much around my kids that I lost myself a bit.

In any case, I want to be able to pump and have her take a bottle on the odd occasion I have an adult-only social event to attend. Or later down the line, maybe even take a night away from them all (hubs included) at a cozy, secluded hotel somewhere.

Hey, a girl can dream right?

Wish me luck!